To understand reality is not the same as to know about outward events. It is to perceive the essential nature of things. The best-informed man is not necessarily the wisest. Indeed there is a danger that precisely in the multiplicity of his knowledge he will lose sight of what is essential. But on the other hand, knowledge of an apparently trivial detail quite often makes it possible to see into the depth of things. And so the wise man will seek to acquire the best possible knowledge about events, but always without becoming dependent upon this knowledge. To recognize the significant in the factual is wisdom. Dietrich Bonhoeffer:


Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus.---RALPH WALDO EMERSON
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.---ABRAHAM LINCOLN
There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state to another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.---ALEXANDRE DUMAS
“It is not because the truth is too difficult to see that we make mistakes... we make mistakes because the easiest and most comfortable course for us is to seek insight where it accords with our emotions - especially selfish ones" --- Alexander Solzhenitsyn quotes (Russian novelist, Nobel Prize for Literature (1970), b.1918)
“Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.” ---Kahlil Gibran

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Memory refreshed - where I used to live

This is a pretty special day at least, I needed to go to bank for my ATM card replacement. The card is expiring in February and it should be changed. So I went to the branch in Big C, Saphan Kwai where I opened the account years ago. I used to stay in the area, in a sudden I missed everything! The place is no longer totally  the same as the last time I laid my eyes in there, the vendors, the vacant areas, some remarkable places and some buildings I used to drop by and so some special people. 

I remember the last time I left   Saphan Kwai I was in tears. I had a best friend in my old apartment - Mansion Sarasinee in Pradiphat 25, Bangkok who I really loved. He was a seven-year-old boy then, a half-German and Thai who used to live with his dad in the same building as the parents got divorced. I leanrt they used to live in Pattaya before they moved in the apartment. While his dad was busy with his stuff  and sometimes his "gay" girlfriend who owned a beauty parlor in the building, I and Alex used to play at the rooftop of the building of course with the dad's permission, gazing the stars, the city lights, story telling and more. We had so much great times I was undoubtedly attached to the boy I looked for him when I got home from work and in times I was free due to exams, I gladly spent my days with him in the building. 

But time came I had to move due to work, I needed somewhere closer to the university and for some other reasons. He was crying then when I said goodbye the last time I visited the former apartment. I tried hard to be strong and made it appeared I was okay but really ended up  bursting in tears when I reached the bus stop. It lingered how the little boy cried as I walked away.  The moment was just sad that the friendship had to end, and that time I wished he could have another friend he could play with as he was the only child in the building and I could no longer go back.

The feeling was strange today, though I went there primarily for the bank transaction there's something within that moved me in some ways. Perhaps, it's the refreshed of the events and times that used to be part of my routines in there. It made me smile looking at Black Canyon where I had some my meals, Swensens ice cream shop and even the restrooms. :)

I took the moment of stroll and just experiencing the place if that is the exact term, looking at people, the displays and the shops. I felt like  visiting the old apartment but in all the years that passed  I think I don't know anyone in there anymore, even the staff. And then I found out today that the shortcut heading to the building is no longer accessible, it's presently being under construction, it seems like a condominium.

My days have been very slow, I've been badly bruised and having the toughest times. This day at least is kinda different, the feeling isn't all good, it's just  varied from the usual.

Alex and I

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