Spelling out my 2015

To start, it has been ages since I've written. As my life, I think I have been confused and lost direction. Many times I have forced myself to come up with specific plans but I just counldn't and still can't. There were multiple things I wanted to do and to happen but those things that were essential for the desires were never on my side which left me hanging and frankly frustrated.

I knew from the start that I would be in trouble and there are millions of things that I couldn't control.....except myself. From then, I tried to discipline my cognitive abilities to keep my support and not totally feeling down. It was and is the only thing that kept and is keeping me standing still.  There were moments that I almost gave up but my mind was telling me that everything will pass and I will be okay, not may be sooner but will be fine by time.

Have you ever come to a point of just not knowing what to do and where to go? I never thought that I'd be in such a dilemma but for time and I think it's been quite long that I have been feeling that "kink". I never like the situation and for one to take 'steps', one needs to 'know' and of me not knowing what to do, just leaves me desolate. But then, life is beautiful I believe and these 'darks' make it in someway meaningful and prove its beauty. I probably understand that we do in some point have this challenge, I just pray for more strength that I can still handle things and remain firm.

'See the bright side, be thankful, be grateful, have faith and believe.' These keep me strong and go on. Focusing on moments also help me feeling a lot better than thinking ahead that never fails to give me nothing but disappointments and distress. It's the best move I can think of  and is effective for now.

And speaking of positivity and focusing on blessings, I'll sum up my 2015 that way! I've finally travelled to Cambodia that I've feared of visiting for years. I had a great time in the many ancient temples though I lost some shoppings along the way. For me, the experience was great, exotic, and worth the memory. Towards the middle of this year,  I visited Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam which turned out to be really surprising. The tours I took were excellent and I met very nice people along the way and later this month, I finally saw the biggest flower in the world - Rafflesia in Cameron, Highlands in Malaysia.  I also had a quick trip in Vientiane, Laos which again gave me sights of beautiful experiences and meeting new friends.

Those were great, could be of status quo and necessity - I'm still very grateful. Some may be dreaming of travelling to the places but couldn't make it for some reasons. But I did for 2015.  I just hope that I can find a full-time job by 2016 and that one I absolutely need.

Hope everyone sees the good things in bad and hope despite the challenges 2015 gave us, we may have the courage to see the light ahead and next year is going to be awesome. Happy New Year, all. :)